Bahamas haiku:

A cruise ship weekend
to others, more than a trip:
a seaside bender.

We sit on this ship.
The techno is very loud.
Everyone is fat.


Put your life vests on
and meet the crew up on deck.
Safety before fun.

The elevators
crowded with lazy people.
They can't climb ten steps.



Slow down! We don't rush
here in the Bahamas, miss.
That's one dollar, please.


Have you seen the Straw
Market? My mom works in there!
My, these jokes are stale.


Buy this necklace, miss!
I won't bite! Children made it!
Fuck you, then, tourist.


Snacks! Let's eat again.
For my fourth meal of the day:
potato curry.


Ancient Greek city?
Or massive pink sand castle?
This is Atlantis.


Hello there, sting ray,
with your wide mouth and flat head.
Roomba of the sea.



Broke another nail!
Gigi, where's your snorkel mask?
These hobbies don't mesh.


Noble scavenger
pecking at his coconut.
So very meaty.


Mick Jagger lives here
but so does Nicholas Cage.
Face/Off reigns supreme.

Back in the stateroom,
the attendant folds the towels:
a new gift for us!

"Get here at seven,
and only carry one bag."
Fuck that, they all said.

Sovereign cruise ship,
with your line dancing, you are
captain of my heart.


-- Hiss & Freeloader